A few weeks ago, I was asked by my sophomore year high school history teacher, “So what do you want to do?” It sounds like a simple question—there are lots of things people want to do, but I all I could respond with was, “I don’t know.” For the first time in my life, I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t have a solid plan that would lead me to the answer. My entire life, I have been the responsible girl and I’ve always had plan. When I was little, I wanted to be a good swimmer, so I worked hard at practice and joined a year-round team. I have always loved school and wanted to do well, so I studied—17 years, in fact. In college I declared my major as Early Education because I knew that I wanted to be a teacher and that was the path that would lead me there. When I discovered my other passions—Spanish—I wanted to become fluent. So, I studied abroad for a full year and changed my major to Spanish. I decided, then, that I would teach middle or high school Spanish, so after earning my B.A. in Spanish, I got my teaching credential and student- taught in both a middle and high school. Finally, I lived in Spain for a year and taught English in an elementary school.
When I came back from Spain last summer, I got a job at a private high school teaching 3 different levels of Spanish—my ultimate goal. This is what I had worked so hard for and I considered myself extremely fortunate to have been given this opportunity. This was the dream job at the perfect school with bright and motivated students. I was perfect for the job and everyone else in my life agreed. This was what I thought would be the beginning of my teaching career and the rest of my life. My plan had worked out flawlessly.
A few months into school was when I realized that plans don’t always work out the way you want them to, and sometimes when your plans change, your life changes too. I thought I was a classroom teacher and I thought I would be one for the rest of my career, but it turns out that I’m not. I love kids and I love Spanish, so in college I thought, “Why not put them together and teach?” It seemed like the right thing to do, and (not to sound conceded) I was good at it. I was good at coming up with fun Spanish lesson plans—teaching in ways in which the kids felt like they could relate to both me and the material. I loved spending time with my students in and outside of class. I was becoming more skilled at classroom management, lesson-planning and grading. I was qualified and well-trained with experience. But after 2 years of teaching high school, I realized that I didn’t like most of the job—something I think I always knew privately but never wanted to admit because I believed I had no other option. I didn’t like lesson-planning, grading, giving tests and quizzes. What I loved about teaching was the relationships I formed with each student and teaching kids not only my subject matter but life lessons along the way. It sounds corny and unconventional, but that’s the kind of teacher I wanted to be. I loved this and will always this, but I don’t like the structure the high school classroom setting requires.
So, after all of this, I have come to accept that your plans may not be God’s plans for you. Plans are just things you want or things other people want for you, and if they don’t work out, you make new ones. The Dalai Lama once said, “Figure out who you are and do it on purpose.” Don’t settle for something you don’t want to do or someone you don’t want to be. Be who you are and what you do with your life will fall into place.
There have been many changes in my life over the past few months, so here’s to the New Year and a new beginning.
New Year’s Eve Survey 2010
2.
1. What was the best part of last year?
Spain.
2. What was the worst part of last year?
Leaving Spain, leaving my job.
3. What was the biggest surprise of last year?
Being diagnosed bipolar.
4. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
I left a job before my contract was up.
5. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don’t remember last year’s resolutions, and I will make more for next year. In 2011, I want to live in the moment more, create balance in my life (work, exercise, friends) and have a relationship.
6. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, my cousin Larisa gave birth to a beautiful baby girl who I adore.
7. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, a wonderful man named Tim Farley, who was a close friend of my
Grandfather’s and who was in charge of the annual father/son/grandfathe/granddaughter baseball pool.
8. What countries and/or states did you visit?
I was living in Spain for part of the year and travelled to several parts of Spain. I also visited Morocco, England, and a little bit of France (Biarritz).
9. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Peace of mind.
10. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
June 8th—the day I left Spain.
November 30th—the day Gaby was born.
11. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Learning to ask for what I need (still learning)
12. What do want to do better? / What was your biggest failure?
I would like to spend more time with my family and grandparents. My biggest failure was not being strong enough to control my emotions and behaviors, which lead to resigning from a job I might have been successful in.
13. What was the best thing you bought?
The best things I bought were plane/train tickets, a painting in Morocco, and paint/decorations for my room.
14. What was the best thing someone gave you?
A plane ticket from Shannon to L.A. for my birthday.
15. What song will always remind you of 2010?
“If I Die Young” (The Band Perry), Glee songs, and “Back to December” (Taylor
Swift)
16. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Yoga, speaking Spanish, traveling, spending more time with my brother.
17. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Spending money, complaining about things that don’t matter.
18. What was your favorite TV program?
The Amazing Race, Law and Order: SVU, House
19. What was the best book you read?
“Eat, Pray, Love”
20. What was your greatest musical discovery?
...
21. What did you want and get?
Half of the year in Spain.
22. What did you want and not get?
To stay in Spain and to move out.
23. What was your favorite film of this year?
“The Blindside”
24. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 24 and we went to Sino in Santana Row with WWD crew. I spent the weekend in LA with Shannon and MegJ
25. What’s one thing that would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Staying in Spain.
26. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
European/Spanish.
27. What kept you sane?
Tinto de verano, tapas, friends, family, Spain, and faith.
28. Who was the best new person you met?
Gaby, Nurses Kevin and Amy, Melinda, Valerie, and Tavius.
29. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
Things don’t always go the way you planned, and that’s okay.
30. What are you most thankful for this year?
Doing what I never thought I could do—making a decision just for me
31. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
“Todo lo que quiero se escapa de las manos; eso es lo que no quería admitir…y no sé manejarlo.” –Julieta Venegas
“No voy a sentirme mal si algo no me sale bien.” – Fito & Fitipaldis
Happy New Year / Feliz Año Nuevo / Felice Anno Nuovo to everyone!
Bendiciones para todos / Blessings to all,
-Kel
2 comments:
Kel! I think this is a great step in moving forward into a wonderful new year! I love to be nosy and read about what others are up to, and this will be a great way to keep me updated with you!!
I can't wait to see you sometime soon! Love you, mean it.
Kelly,
What a great blog. I appreciate your openness and honesty about teaching, although I do believe if you were in the right school, and with the right setting, you would still enjoy teaching.
Your blog about Fez was very interesting too! Glad to hear things are moving along for you.
Thanks for sharing.
Love,
Jan
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